Take me deeper in love with You.

Thats what i long for.

[[I will run my race and win my prize..]]

I will make sure yesterday would be the last day ever in my life, crying out to God saying, "Father, I'm sorry.. I can't make it.. I want to give up.."

Seriously to me, it is very daunting to see something beautiful can turned out to be so ugly.. Something, like a friendship..
Who was at fault anyway? I believe its both parties.. Yet because of pride and ignorance, both denied each other.. What was the result? Anger and no forgiveness..
One has chose to forgive, forget and move on.. On the other hand, one chose to stay in the past heartaches, being condemning, not willing to forgive and let go..
Why? Why allow the devil to come and destroy this friendship?
Nevertheless, I will continue to pray..

There is no need to lie, the fact is, our walk with God is never smooth-sailing.. And that is what makes it so adventurous and fun..
Why? Well, don't you find if everything is serene, cool and easy to get, why does God want us to have faith? Why almost all the pastors in this world always preach on faith? The reason is, we live in a broken down world, tragedies to happen even to good people.. There will be times when we Christians feel so weak or struggle for breakthroughs during our walk.. Nevertheless remember, all these happen to make us stronger..

Like what happened yesterday night.. Yes, I almost gave up.. Gave up on myself especially my dreams.. Dreams that I have been fighting so hard for..
Somehow after yesterday incident, I look back at this period of time.. What is God trying to get across to me about myself? And I realised, it is my self-worth, my identity in Christ..
I finally understood that I am a very sensitive person.. If one comes and put me down, saying things that go against me, I can be very affected.. And God knows it..
I reckon that all these things happened for a reason.. Well, after what the three of my beloved ones and a church mate encouraged me, I know that I know.. I have a dream and a purpose in my life.. I should not allow anyone or anything to come distract me and pull me away from fulfilling my dreams..

And I give praises to God for making me so strong and to be able to stand up again and again.. What I want is to see is those broken people looking up to me saying, "I want to be like Shavonne, to be even stronger than her.. I want to believe God is there, and He can take away all my pains, just like how He healed Shavonne.."

[[Psalm 73:21-26]]

Thus my heart was grieved,
And I was vexed in my mind.
I was so foolish and ignorant;
I was like a beast before You.
Nevertheless I am continually with You;
You hold me by my right hand.
You will guide me with Your counsel,
And afterward receive me to glory.
Whom have I in heaven but You?
And there is none upon earth that I desire besides You.
My flesh and my heart fail:
But God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.

Love,
Shavonne. (:

With love,
Shavonne. (: