Thats what i long for.
All for love, He came...
How do you continue to love people when you are tired of loving? That's when I always turn to Jesus.
Peculiarly, I came to realise that I could feel tired of loving people. Well, not exactly everyone but a handful of them. People who I actually love and care so much so that I am willing to sacrifice whatever I have to, for them. Yet at the end, I do not want to do anything for them at all.
"Why? What is wrong?" I asked myself.
I was in this dilemma until God presented Jesus to me recently.. He showed me how Jesus continued to love the people of Israel even when they mocked and refused to recognise Him. I am convinced that Jesus was disappointed and discouraged because He lived as a human after all. He experienced the same emotions as us. However, the greatest thing is that Jesus still loves the people, up till now and forever.
Sometimes when I look at Jesus, I really admire Him so much. Not that I do not want to be like Him, I am afraid to be like Him. I am afraid of people, taking advantage of me. And I will start thinking of myself, again.
Loving people is not easy, seriously.. It takes a lot of courage and determination because it involves forgiveness. Forgiveness for people who have scolded you, let you down, mocked at you, rejected you and even pushed you. And that is one thing I always have to remind myself, forgiveness is not a feeling, it is a decision.
Beside that, God spoke to me about my selfishness. When people do not appreciate me for whatever good things I have done for them, I tend to draw back and feel bitter. I will start to imagine things like, "Oh, I don't think he/she cares about me. I've done and sacrificed so much for him/er, yet he/she has done nothing for me." And that really almost destroy my relationships with people.
One thing that I have learn is that, even if people do not see the good intentions I have, God sees and He recognises. And I believe, you sow what you reap.
____________________________________________
NO MORE PEACE!
Oh, guess what.. MY NEPHEWS ARE B.A.C.K!!!
Yes, they are back.. After about 8 months of not seeing them, I thought I would be so excited to welcome them yet I was wrong.. Well, of course I am happy to see them, but they have became SO mischievous especially the elder one.. Till now, he still could not pronounce "Gugu" correctly and goes, "Krukru".. Oh gosh, my Joshua... Haha.. And he actually kicked me in my ass when I carried Javier [his younger brother] up from the bed.. Then he gave me a big smile with his three front teeth missing [he looks so cute! >.<].. Haha..
I remember when he was much younger [he is three year-old now], we used to fight.. Yes, I mean literally fight.. When he hits me, I would hit him back [softly of course], when he takes my pen, I would snatch his toy soldier and both of us would go screaming till my father comes in and scold, me.. Yea, you can never escape that if you have a nephew like mine.. Everyone loves him, including me [BIG GRINS]..
So anyway, Joshua has grown more handsome like his father and Javier has grown so much cuter like his Gugu.. Ahhhh.. I love Javier, he is so cute, like me!
The two sweety pies in my life. (:
______________________________________________
出口
[[飛輪海]]
I heard you saying, "I love you." Yet there is still a sense of lonliness in me.
谁能告诉我哪里有出口
能让我逃出这个
我快沉没的漩涡
With love,
Shavonne. (:
Shavonne. (:
