Thats what i long for.
why am i the reason? why?Till now, my past still haunts me like a shadow that never leave my side. Each time as I am reminded by my past, my emotions would tend to set in and I would feel so unworthy of Him again.
Yet through His mercy and grace, He never fails to take me back to the cross and shows me His compassion. He has paid the price through death and taken away all my sins and shames.
There and then, my heart would break and I would cry out, "Why? Why do You have to do this for me?" It is not that I do not want Him to die on my behalf, the reason is I know He loves me too much till I am afraid, afraid I would sin because of my weaknesses and break His heart.
Have you ever felt that you love someone so much that you become so fearful of losing him/her? That's how I feel towards Him at times. It is not that I am insecure in His love, its because I love Him too much that I cannot bear to lose Him. I do not know what my life would be without Him. Thus I always want to do my best, be the best in front of Him. However, due to my weaknesses, I failed again and again. Sometimes I fell so hard till I did not want to stand up and just wanted to remind there.
And then, He would come. Pick me up and restore my heart with love once more. I would then ask, "Are You not tired of doing the same thing over and over again?" Once, He replied me this, "If I have to do it a infinity times to let you know that I will never give up on you, I will."
How great is His compassion? No words can ever describe. Just go to Him with a pure and simple heart and He will show you how great great is His compassion.
[[Why?]]
Nichole Nordeman__________________________________________
I could only look at your back and watch you walk away.From sister and brother, we became lovers. From lovers, we became friends. And from friends, we became strangers. My An Li.
Do I miss him? Yes I do, a lot. Each time when I look at how loving they are, I would question myself, "Were we as loving in the past?"
I have let go of him, my heart no longer cries out for him but the memories still remain. There is still a pinch of sadness in me whenever I see him. I wanted so much to tell him, I miss him. Yet each time I would stop my pace, look at his back and just wish he would turn around and take a look at me.
Right now it seems that I have lost this friendship. Someone who once was my greatest cheerleader, bestest friend, pillar of strength, most understanding person and my teddy bear, is gone now.
When will we talk again? Just when? Well, people. Even if you know who the guy is, please do not be mistaken. I have already someone else in mind. =)
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[[Crush]]
Mandy MooreWhen will you be mine?With love,
Shavonne. (:
