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A Pure Heart Of Compassion.




Thats what i long for.

Updated.
________

Shattered.

I really don't know what to do. Yes, I was a little insane just now, all I want to do is to hide all my emotions, my tears and stop thinking about anything that would break my heart. Yet after I settled down, my mind was just directed back to Indra. The thought of him is enough for me to break down and cry, whats more if I gather all my other problems and burdens together? Its so poignant and I could not do anything but pray and believe. Yet when will my prayers be answered?
I miss him, I miss him very badly. He is supposed to come before my birthday and right now, he will not be coming back. Yea, I am disappointed and more thwarted because he may not come to Singapore this year. Why? Why like that? He promised.

I'm not doing alright now, my soul is broken. I know it would affect me spiritually if I do not do anything, but what can I do? Everyone is advicing me to do this and that, yes, thank you very much for your concern, however thats not what I need. All I want is merely a pair of listening ear, a open and compassionate heart, a mouth that will not judge, a mind that is indulgent, a pair of eyes that see with love and a hand that will hold on to me if I really fall. Is there really no one else beside Jesus? Can this world be so cruel and selfish?

Lord, how strong do you wanna make me? I know you're answering my prayer but could You guide me? I can't do all this alone. At this moment, I can't depend on anyone for strength that would carry me through. I need You, oh Lord. I need you.

Why am I so callous to so many people now?
_____________________________________________

Very soon, I'll tell you how I feel.

It has been more than 5 months, I wonder how much that person know me. From my temper all the way to my favourite food, it seems that that person knows nothing.
I hate it when I smile or even laugh at the little things that that person say or do when I actually am very moody. I feel like a retard, seriously.

Anyway, I have enough. I can't go on and pretend that my heart is not hurt by that person. I know how much I mean to that person, how much I am needed in that person's life.

Do I deserve someone else? I believe everyone deserves someone special. But who?
_____________________________________________

[[Just go]]
Jesse Mccartney



Wouldn't you tell me so.



With love,
Shavonne. (:








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