Thats what i long for.
Do not lose focus.I asked myself this question.
"If Pastor Kong or Sun is in my shoe, what will they do? Facing so much critics while fulfilling their heavenly visions and dreams, what will they do?" Ever since I gave my life back to Him in 2005, He has set me up for a lot of trials. Beside that, He has placed tons and tons of people from different backgrounds in my life, especially people who are egoistic and pessimistic. I asked Him once, "Why me?". All He replied, "Because I have chose you and I want to groom you to who I want you to be."
Handling people is the toughest job. Their ignorant and words can really kill. Sometimes, they can really drive me up the walls and I want so much to use profanity on them. To show them the strong side of me, to proof them wrong about everything they criticise about me. Yet when I look at Pastors, Sun, leaders in church, my leader and my members, my heart just sank so deep. They are fighting so hard for God's kingdom, they must be very tired with all the temptations and critics, but they do not lose focus. Who am I compared to them?
I want to be like them, I want my prayers to be answered. Yes, my faith is being tested. I need Him even more now. People are always coming against me. Yet I want to press on and hold on to His love.
I still can recalled that vision very vividly. He was hugging me very tightly while He was beaten all around by demons. His skin was teared, blood was everywhere, but all He said was, "Do not be afraid. I will protect you." I felt His strength and I am feeling it now. I am feeling it now..."Thank You for lifting me up once again. You searched much deeper within, through the way things appear. You only look into my heart. Thus let my heart stands so pure and bold before You. You are my strength, my freedom, my God in whom I trust. I want to be with You. I want to look at the stars with You and listen to Your stories about Abraham, David, Peter and everyone else."________________________________________________________
[[Someone like me.]]
Sun Ho
Will you come and love someone like me?Someone who is imperfect.For love, I pressed on.In my journey to pursue my dreams,Misery filled me.I am not willing to give up.Take a look at me.I do not let go.When I was blinded by tears,I used my voice to sing my beautiful sorrows.Take a look at me.My heart screams for justice.I will smile as I continue my life.There were times when I was trapped and lost,Because of my dreams.There were also times I experienced critics and heartaches.Till now, I am still who I am.For love, I press on.For me,I would like to have a simple life at the end.___________________________________________
[[You never let me go]]
Matt Redman
If my God is with me,
In whom then shall I fear?
With love,
Shavonne. (:
